Limiting screen time probably ranks near the top of most “Dreaded Parental Duties” lists. Finding the right balance between “I just need a few minutes of peace” and the endless playback loop of Netflix is never easy. In my house, our rule is no screens after school, since the Bubble Guppies join us for breakfast on many mornings. To tell the truth, I thought I was doing pretty well in the screen-limitation-parenting department, until the afternoon that my three year old tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Mommy, leave the phone down. Play with me.” Clearly, limiting my son’s screen time wasn’t enough. I also needed to check my own digital devices at the door. It was a hard thing to hear.

Balancing the benefits of technology against its distractions, especially for middle school students, is an important topic for educators and parents alike. Recently I shared some tips on starting a conversation with your student about her use of technology. Remember, our Middle School students have a facility with the device that adults usually do not. However, there is a need for parents to monitor the way a student uses his or her device.

At what point does the friendship a parent shares with an adult child supersede the requirements of good parenting?

Typically, parents have the knowledge and children still have something to learn. With tech, the tables are often turned. At Shorecrest, an Apple Distinguished School, technology and the iPad are threaded into our Middle School days. As a result, our Middle School students have a facility with the device that adults usually do not. However, there is a need for parents to monitor the way a student uses his or her device. Here are some starting points for a conversation with your Middle School student about using the iPad appropriately and avoiding distractions.

Children can become masters of deal making and negotiating, and parents often resort to bribery. The question is, when these methods of deal making become the norm for resolving conflicts or gaining children’s cooperation, who wins and who loses? When talking about interactions between adults and children - whether parents and their children, or teachers and their students - the answer to this question is everyone loses.